The Full Story

So for those of you who are my friend on facebook, you should have seen this picture I uploaded the other day. It was taken from my phone and my phone wouldn't let me put the full caption I wanted, so here it goes:

I was changing Lili's diaper. And boy let me tell you, it was a messy one. Not only was it loaded with urine (it was the first diaper change of the day, and she sleeps for about 12 hours) but she had just done her duty. I was happy about that because lately she's taken to doing it about 5 minutes after I change her. Anyway, it was messssy and since she's in the phase of "I don't like my diaper being change" I decided to get up and throw it away before she tries to escape and get into it. I'm not even to the trash yet (which we were changing her diaper just outside the kitchen) when I heard it. It was one of those moments that you just knew exactly what was happening without even having to look. But you just have to double check so I did. I turned around, setting the diaper on the counter saying "really Lilian?" as I did, expecting to see Lili around the area I left her. Nope, I walk out the kitchen and see the above picture, except she was still peeing. I just started laughing. The closest camera to me was my phone so I grabbed it real quick and snapped that shot.

Anyway, I just felt that picture deserves the full story. :D Its one that will go in her scrapbook...someday when I get around to working on it again.

Happy Birthday to me...I guess.

23...idk why, but 23 just sounds so much older than 22. I know it's not, but really, it just sounds like it is. Anyway, so I'm now 23. Nothing special. Didn't do anything, mostly because we have no moneys right now, buuuut I also could possibly have tonsillitis. Happy Birthday to me right? It's fantastic. No fever yet, and it doesn't hurt to swallow yet either, but I can feel my tonsils are a tiny swollen and they are covered in white spots. Lovely, I know. I tried calling to set up a doctor's appointment, but good ol' TriCare was a let down once again. Well it wasn't so much TriCare and their dumb policies but the appointment hotline was down, due to technical difficulties. They were having computer issues yesterday at the hospital when I went to get rechecked for my heart and thyroid. But because my phone was still broken I couldn't "push 1 to speak with Fort Carson medical facilities" or whatever it says. And it doesn't have the option to hold for an operator. At that point it just repeats the menu options. It also told me to try online. So I did. But my account has been locked because I haven't accessed it in the last 365 days and the stupid link to the helpdesk it told me to contact for further assistance wasn't working. So I will try tomorrow. I'm just hoping the pain and more swelling wont be there when I wake up. We shall see I suppose. I did finally get my replacement phone tonight though. Just about a month and a half after I broke my original. It's amazing to actually be able to use the phone without fighting it to do what I want/need it to do!

So I'm watching The Soloist right now. Interesting movie, kinda strange. Not the best Jamie Foxx movie there is, but it's ok. Makes me miss being a band geek though. I wish I still had my clarinet. I think my mom and ex-step-dad sold it while I was in Hawaii though, but no one has admitted to it. Kinda messed up, pisses me off, but whatever. Someday I will own another.

Anyway, off that random tangent. Gotta get to bed I guess. Sleep would be good for my ill, old body.

Happy New Year

Hope you all had a better one than us. First off, I had to work NYE, but whatever, I got off around 415ish. BUT on my way home, I started feeling nauseous. I was thinking it was from this turkey sandwich I had for lunch. The turkey had been open for about a week and a half, but it smelled fine and tasted normal. So I get home and about 20 minutes later I'm praying to the porcelain God. I felt fine aside from my stomach so I knew it had to be food poisoning. Then it (sorry for the nasty details) starts coming out both ends, at the same time. Thankfully, my tub and toilet are neighbors. Anyway, then Adam gets it...but hold on, he didn't have a turkey sandwich today. Again, thankfully we have two full bathrooms. I can't imagine that night in our old apartment with just one. Anywho, in between rushing to the bathroom, I'm trying to figure out what we had that would make us sick and not Lilian. All 3 of us had bananas that day, but again, Lilian was perfectly fine. Then I remembered I had a glass of chocolate milk that I shared with Adam before leaving for work. The milk had to be it (the chocolate milk was made with nesquik powder that we've used several times before so it's not the chocolate and the milk used was a brand spanking new gallon I literally just opened). We started getting so dehydrated, but neither one of us could keep down anything, not even water. Adam was worse than me, he could barely get himself to the bathroom. I was feeling okay enough to drive to 7-11 and get us some 7-Up to calm our tummies and some Powerade to give us some electrolytes. Adam kept chugging his and I told him to calm down or he'd be seeing it again. And I was right. Finally he listens to me and we both stop the puking portion. Well almost. He falls asleep and I don't. I was too uncomfortable, too thirsty. So my dumb self chugs a glass of my Powerade. I knew I was going to regret it, but it felt so great to get something in me. Sure enough, a few minutes later I was back in the bathroom. So I went back to taking very small sips, but it wasn't enough. I got no sleep what so ever. I was either going to the bathroom or taking sips of fluids every few minutes..too often to get any sleep. Then around 6 or 7 a.m. I started having lower back pains. I get Adam up and he draws me a bubble bath (awwwwe :)...he had gotten a lot more sleep than me, though not very much. But he was feeling much better than I was). That didn't help, so I had him dig out my heating pad, and that didn't help either. The dog also had diarrhea that night so we started wondering if it was a bug or just coincidence. We decided to go to the ER, at least to get re-hydrated.

We couldn't get ahold of Courtney and Justin to watch Lili for us so we finally packed her up and took her with us. We both checked in to the ER at about 10 after 10. I got my vitals done, and my heart rate was at 125...they figured it was just because I was so dehydrated. I hate the way this army hospital works. They call you up for vitals, make you sit down, call you up to get your medical history portion, make you sit down, then finally call you up to get you to a room. It's a pain, anyway, I finally get in the back and hooked up to my first 2 bags of fluid at 11. That was quick. Those bags finish, my heart rate was still high so they gave me a 3rd. About an hour and a half after I was called back, Adam got to his room and he got 3 bags too. Around the time my 4th bag gets hooked up, he was discharged and came to my room with Lili. When they came in with that 4th bag, it was a smaller one than the others, I think it was a different type of fluid, but they told Adam it would be a while and since he had Lili he should probably get her out of there. So he left. And I was sad, mostly because my call light didn't work and it took forever for my nurses to come check on me. So there I was, all alone, hooked up to a 4th IV bag, the BP cuff and the pulse ox. They hooked a 5th bag up and decided to do some blood work to check my thyroid since there was no reason to have that many bags of fluid and my heart rate still be high. Hyperthyroidism runs in my family so I thought that was going to come back positive. But nope, all my blood work came back fine except for my potassium levels. So they hook a 6th bag up and gave me some potassium pills. About halfway through that 6th bag, the doc comes in and gives me the option of being admitted, and kept over night hooked to more fluids and being observed. Or going home. I was cold from the IVs and still hadn't gotten any sleep so I said I wanted to go home. My heart rate and dropped down at one point to about 98 but was back up to 113 when being discharged.

So I came home. I went to bed at about 830 last night, slept til about 8 this morning and I'm still laying in bed. I'm going to set up an appointment this week to get my heart checked out and make sure it's normal again, and if it's not, find out what the heck is wrong. Just for those who don't know, for a person over the age of 10 (who isn't an athlete) the normal, healthy, beats per minute is between 60-100. Hopefully it just has something to do with how sick I was getting and it'll be better, but for now, I'm resting in bed.

Just kind of thinking out loud.

So, I found a job. It's a great opportunity, if I turn out to be any good at it. It's with a company called Supreme Systemz....they sell Kirby vacuums. Not the most fun sounding job right? Being a sales man (or woman in my case) but you know what? I can make a ton of money. The lady who runs our office moved $1million last year. It's easy to get promoted, and the machine really sells itself so it should be easy if I just stick with it. I'm still going to take my CNA state boards and continue on with EMT classes next term...just in case. But this company offers a weekly bonus of $300 and has a ton of contests with free, all-expenses paid, all-inclusive trips and other fun stuff. The down fall is they only advertise by word of mouth. No commercials, no magazine ads or anything like that. We have to get our own referrals and the only way to get the machine is by having someone come to your home and show it to you. That's hard for someone like me who has no family around and a few friends. Oh well, I'm going to stick with it and see if I can get better at it. I'm just happy to have a job finally. Going back to work has been tough. Today is really my first day off since I started (on the 16th) and I'm so mentally and physically exhausted, I don't feel like 2 days is enough time for me to recuperate. It's a commissioned job, and until I get better, working every day is something I might have to do. It's a little frustrating but those bonuses and contest prizes are worth it...and of course being able to pay bills AND have spare money...I just want to be good at it now.

It's Christmas Eve tonight. Lili will have a decent amount of gifts under the tree, but only a few are from us. I hate that. I know she's only 1 and wont even remember it, but I just want to give her everything I never had. I think Adam has a hard time understanding that. She had so much fun when she was opening presents on her birthday, I didn't want it to end. And tomorrow will be the same, although a lot of them are clothes and she wont be as interested in those as she was all her toys. I just love to see her so happy. A baby's smile and laugh is the most truest thing in the world. They don't know how to fake a smile or laugh just to please us. It's pure happiness that causes those cute little giggles and grins. I want to be able to see that all the time. I want to spoil her--and there is a difference between being spoiled and being a spoiled brat. I want to give her things every little girl wants that I didn't have. As soon as she's old enough, I want to buy her the toy kitchen and vanity. I want her to have the pink Barbie car she can drive around in our yard (assuming we'll have a yard of our own at that time). Like I said, there is a difference between being spoiled and being a spoiled brat. The kids on MTV's My Sweet 16...those are spoiled brats. Lili wont be like that. I'll spoil her, when she deserves it. I will teach her to be thankful for what she has and tantrums at the age of 16 for the car she wants will not be tolerated.

But right now, she deserves everything in this world. And I can't give it to her just yet. I hate it. I wish I had found my job sooner. Maybe 2010 will be the year our financial situation gets better, and stays better. Maybe 2010 will be the year I make a New Year's resolution and actually keep it. No, no maybe. It will be. That's one thing I've learned so far in this job. Words like "maybe" and "try" are bad words. Any word that leaves room for failure is unacceptable. Will is a good word. 2010 WILL be the year our finances get better and I WILL keep my New Year's resolution to make it happen.

Cuz Roxanne is making me...haha

Answer the following 5 questions, and then tag 5 people.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Being 12...almost 13...in 7th grade...shoot, idk what I was doing then...volleyball and soccer are the only major things that stick out.

2. What are 5 things on your to-do list?
-1. Get a job
-2. Try to Christmas shop with out non-existent money
-3. Clean the apartment...like REALLY clean it
-4. Try out for this adult cheerleading squad in March.
-5. A few more attempts at scrapbooking.

3. What are snacks you enjoy?
CHEESE! Seriously I just ate one of those huge blocks of Tillamook Cheese (I think those are like 2 lbs) in the last 2 weeks....I <3 Cheese. On payday, I'll be buying the fixings to make chocolate chip cookies and homemade fudge!!

4. What are the places you have lived?
Vancouver & Ridgefield, WA
Honolulu, HI
Richmond & Suffolk, VA
Portland, Tigard, Beaverton & Milwaukie, OR
Colorado Springs, CO

That's a lot of moving...I hate moving.

5. What are 5 things you would do if you became a billionaire?
-1. Pay off our credit cards, car loans and my student loans
-2. Buy a house...preferably in Hawaii
-3. Buy me a brand new convertible mustang
-4. Buy Adam his new F150...if he's lucky
-5. Set up Lili's college fund.

I tag...Aunt Nori and Nicolle. And whoever else reads this but doesn't follow and feels the desire to waste their time on it. :)

Drunk Driving

We all know it's bad. We all know it's wrong. But WHY do people continue to do it?

I can't even tell you how or why, but last night I stumbled across a myspace page that was a memorial to Kelli Lewis, an 18 year old killed in a crash in 2001. She was supposed to have a designated driver, but refused to leave with that person. Instead, in her drunken state, she chose to leave with three others who were also drunk. Kelli and two boys were in one car, another boy in a second. 4 miles from her home, they did a bit of impulse drag racing. The car Kelli was in lost control, flew through some trees and landed upside down in a person's yard. The car landed on top of Kelli, all 3 riders were killed insantly. Yes, it was her bad choices that killed her, but that doesn't mean her mother can't make something good of loosing her first born child. It's Kelli's story that has influenced "Kelli's Law". I have no idea if it's actually in effect yet, but I know I've heard of it. For those of you who haven't, basically it's to get a field breathalyzer equipped in EVERY highway patrol car and to be administered on anyone suspected of drunk driving. Anyway, Kelli's mother runs the page and has many pictures of Kelli, including very graphic photos of the crash that killed her daughter (graphic meaning you can see Kelli in the wreckage). I've looked at them, several times since she accepted my friend request this morning. Some may say that's disgusting, that I'm mental or disturbed. But you know what, it's the truth. The God damned ugly truth of what stupid people do. I have NEVER nor will I EVER drive drunk. I never planned on it, I've never thought about it or been tempted to when drinking. But I know people who do. And you know what? No matter how close of friends they may be, a part of me hates them for the past times they have driven drunk and the times that lie ahead when they will again. Looking at Kelli's page, there are SEVERAL memorial pages dedicated to people lost in car accidents...whether from alcohol involved or something really stupid. The sad thing is, 99% of the pages I ventured onto today were for those who's sunset came before their 18th birthday. I can think of 3 pages that were dedicated to women who were pregnant at the time. There are many who were dedicated to children as young as 5. Some were even for those who were lost many years ago...back in a day when myspace and the internet didn't exist. There are pages for lost ones who have been angels longer than they were on this earth. And there were quite a few stories where the person driving drunk has survived, even one or two where nothing was done to punish the ones who SHOULD have died.

Why am I blogging this? Because it has hit me hard. I've never had a friend too close to me die. A girl I had been friends with in elementry, somewhat through middle school and really started getting disconnected from in high school that died from drugs. But every story was so heartbreaking. And maybe it's because the holiday season is upon us, which tends to mean a lot of partying. But You can feel the pain these families and friends are STILL going through. The pain NEVER leaves. I am going to some how post this counter that has the number of drunk driving related deaths so far this year in the United States. I've had it open on my browser for about an hour and a half and the number has gone up by three. THREE! In the last hour and a half, 3 families have lost a child/sibiling/grandchild/neice/nephew/mother/father/aunt/uncle/grandparent/friend. That is far too many families spending their Thanksgiving mourning tomorrow. Instead of being thankful for their family being alive and healthy, they are forced to be thankful for the time they HAD with their loved one.

Now, I know a lot of you out there are saying "oh one beer doesn't do anything to me, so it's ok". I know this. We have plenty of parties, I see how alcohol effects different people. My husband could have 2 beers and it barely does a thing to him. But you know what, he doesn't drive. Have fun. Be smart. You're not Super Man, you're not invincible. Be an example, not a statistic. If not for yourself, think of your family and friends. The ones who love you. As Denzel Washington said in the movie John Q. "I AM NOT GOING TO BURY MY SON! MY SON IS GOING TO BURY ME!" That's the way it's supposed to be, don't change that. I'm thinking about finding a little tiny combination (so people can't find they key and open it) safe to start putting people's keys in during our parties so they can't leave after they've started drinking. Some will hate me for it but you know what, don't drink and drive.

Where did the time go??

Two weeks from today, my baby girl will be turning one. She will be making the leap from infant to toddler. She is walking now, sort of. A good few steps then plops on her tush. Lilian now has 9 teeth. She's so long now too. She still rides around in her infant car seat (mostly for lack of money of buying a new, convertible/forward facing one...but hey, they can hold babies up to 30lbs and Lili's only 20something) and her feet hang over the edge. But it's safer for her to be rear-faced for a bit longer. So the next step is to get a convertible seat (so she can still be rear-facing until I feel comfortable to turn her around), preferably one of each car, but again, money's tight and they are a bit spendy. Maybe I can find cute ones on craigslist or something. Anyway, Halloween is right around the corner, and she will be TinkerBell. :) Then just 5 days after that she turns 1!! Her party will be the day after on Friday. She's already opened two presents from a friend since he can't really come to the party. Lili had never opened any presents before so she didn't really know what to do, but she loves tearing paper so once we start opening presents at her party I'm sure she'll be a pro. :) Well that's it for now, I will probably come back on Halloween and put a few pics up here. If I forget, check my myspace. :)