Just kind of thinking out loud.

So, I found a job. It's a great opportunity, if I turn out to be any good at it. It's with a company called Supreme Systemz....they sell Kirby vacuums. Not the most fun sounding job right? Being a sales man (or woman in my case) but you know what? I can make a ton of money. The lady who runs our office moved $1million last year. It's easy to get promoted, and the machine really sells itself so it should be easy if I just stick with it. I'm still going to take my CNA state boards and continue on with EMT classes next term...just in case. But this company offers a weekly bonus of $300 and has a ton of contests with free, all-expenses paid, all-inclusive trips and other fun stuff. The down fall is they only advertise by word of mouth. No commercials, no magazine ads or anything like that. We have to get our own referrals and the only way to get the machine is by having someone come to your home and show it to you. That's hard for someone like me who has no family around and a few friends. Oh well, I'm going to stick with it and see if I can get better at it. I'm just happy to have a job finally. Going back to work has been tough. Today is really my first day off since I started (on the 16th) and I'm so mentally and physically exhausted, I don't feel like 2 days is enough time for me to recuperate. It's a commissioned job, and until I get better, working every day is something I might have to do. It's a little frustrating but those bonuses and contest prizes are worth it...and of course being able to pay bills AND have spare money...I just want to be good at it now.

It's Christmas Eve tonight. Lili will have a decent amount of gifts under the tree, but only a few are from us. I hate that. I know she's only 1 and wont even remember it, but I just want to give her everything I never had. I think Adam has a hard time understanding that. She had so much fun when she was opening presents on her birthday, I didn't want it to end. And tomorrow will be the same, although a lot of them are clothes and she wont be as interested in those as she was all her toys. I just love to see her so happy. A baby's smile and laugh is the most truest thing in the world. They don't know how to fake a smile or laugh just to please us. It's pure happiness that causes those cute little giggles and grins. I want to be able to see that all the time. I want to spoil her--and there is a difference between being spoiled and being a spoiled brat. I want to give her things every little girl wants that I didn't have. As soon as she's old enough, I want to buy her the toy kitchen and vanity. I want her to have the pink Barbie car she can drive around in our yard (assuming we'll have a yard of our own at that time). Like I said, there is a difference between being spoiled and being a spoiled brat. The kids on MTV's My Sweet 16...those are spoiled brats. Lili wont be like that. I'll spoil her, when she deserves it. I will teach her to be thankful for what she has and tantrums at the age of 16 for the car she wants will not be tolerated.

But right now, she deserves everything in this world. And I can't give it to her just yet. I hate it. I wish I had found my job sooner. Maybe 2010 will be the year our financial situation gets better, and stays better. Maybe 2010 will be the year I make a New Year's resolution and actually keep it. No, no maybe. It will be. That's one thing I've learned so far in this job. Words like "maybe" and "try" are bad words. Any word that leaves room for failure is unacceptable. Will is a good word. 2010 WILL be the year our finances get better and I WILL keep my New Year's resolution to make it happen.

Cuz Roxanne is making me...haha

Answer the following 5 questions, and then tag 5 people.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Being 12...almost 13...in 7th grade...shoot, idk what I was doing then...volleyball and soccer are the only major things that stick out.

2. What are 5 things on your to-do list?
-1. Get a job
-2. Try to Christmas shop with out non-existent money
-3. Clean the apartment...like REALLY clean it
-4. Try out for this adult cheerleading squad in March.
-5. A few more attempts at scrapbooking.

3. What are snacks you enjoy?
CHEESE! Seriously I just ate one of those huge blocks of Tillamook Cheese (I think those are like 2 lbs) in the last 2 weeks....I <3 Cheese. On payday, I'll be buying the fixings to make chocolate chip cookies and homemade fudge!!

4. What are the places you have lived?
Vancouver & Ridgefield, WA
Honolulu, HI
Richmond & Suffolk, VA
Portland, Tigard, Beaverton & Milwaukie, OR
Colorado Springs, CO

That's a lot of moving...I hate moving.

5. What are 5 things you would do if you became a billionaire?
-1. Pay off our credit cards, car loans and my student loans
-2. Buy a house...preferably in Hawaii
-3. Buy me a brand new convertible mustang
-4. Buy Adam his new F150...if he's lucky
-5. Set up Lili's college fund.

I tag...Aunt Nori and Nicolle. And whoever else reads this but doesn't follow and feels the desire to waste their time on it. :)

Drunk Driving

We all know it's bad. We all know it's wrong. But WHY do people continue to do it?

I can't even tell you how or why, but last night I stumbled across a myspace page that was a memorial to Kelli Lewis, an 18 year old killed in a crash in 2001. She was supposed to have a designated driver, but refused to leave with that person. Instead, in her drunken state, she chose to leave with three others who were also drunk. Kelli and two boys were in one car, another boy in a second. 4 miles from her home, they did a bit of impulse drag racing. The car Kelli was in lost control, flew through some trees and landed upside down in a person's yard. The car landed on top of Kelli, all 3 riders were killed insantly. Yes, it was her bad choices that killed her, but that doesn't mean her mother can't make something good of loosing her first born child. It's Kelli's story that has influenced "Kelli's Law". I have no idea if it's actually in effect yet, but I know I've heard of it. For those of you who haven't, basically it's to get a field breathalyzer equipped in EVERY highway patrol car and to be administered on anyone suspected of drunk driving. Anyway, Kelli's mother runs the page and has many pictures of Kelli, including very graphic photos of the crash that killed her daughter (graphic meaning you can see Kelli in the wreckage). I've looked at them, several times since she accepted my friend request this morning. Some may say that's disgusting, that I'm mental or disturbed. But you know what, it's the truth. The God damned ugly truth of what stupid people do. I have NEVER nor will I EVER drive drunk. I never planned on it, I've never thought about it or been tempted to when drinking. But I know people who do. And you know what? No matter how close of friends they may be, a part of me hates them for the past times they have driven drunk and the times that lie ahead when they will again. Looking at Kelli's page, there are SEVERAL memorial pages dedicated to people lost in car accidents...whether from alcohol involved or something really stupid. The sad thing is, 99% of the pages I ventured onto today were for those who's sunset came before their 18th birthday. I can think of 3 pages that were dedicated to women who were pregnant at the time. There are many who were dedicated to children as young as 5. Some were even for those who were lost many years ago...back in a day when myspace and the internet didn't exist. There are pages for lost ones who have been angels longer than they were on this earth. And there were quite a few stories where the person driving drunk has survived, even one or two where nothing was done to punish the ones who SHOULD have died.

Why am I blogging this? Because it has hit me hard. I've never had a friend too close to me die. A girl I had been friends with in elementry, somewhat through middle school and really started getting disconnected from in high school that died from drugs. But every story was so heartbreaking. And maybe it's because the holiday season is upon us, which tends to mean a lot of partying. But You can feel the pain these families and friends are STILL going through. The pain NEVER leaves. I am going to some how post this counter that has the number of drunk driving related deaths so far this year in the United States. I've had it open on my browser for about an hour and a half and the number has gone up by three. THREE! In the last hour and a half, 3 families have lost a child/sibiling/grandchild/neice/nephew/mother/father/aunt/uncle/grandparent/friend. That is far too many families spending their Thanksgiving mourning tomorrow. Instead of being thankful for their family being alive and healthy, they are forced to be thankful for the time they HAD with their loved one.

Now, I know a lot of you out there are saying "oh one beer doesn't do anything to me, so it's ok". I know this. We have plenty of parties, I see how alcohol effects different people. My husband could have 2 beers and it barely does a thing to him. But you know what, he doesn't drive. Have fun. Be smart. You're not Super Man, you're not invincible. Be an example, not a statistic. If not for yourself, think of your family and friends. The ones who love you. As Denzel Washington said in the movie John Q. "I AM NOT GOING TO BURY MY SON! MY SON IS GOING TO BURY ME!" That's the way it's supposed to be, don't change that. I'm thinking about finding a little tiny combination (so people can't find they key and open it) safe to start putting people's keys in during our parties so they can't leave after they've started drinking. Some will hate me for it but you know what, don't drink and drive.

Where did the time go??

Two weeks from today, my baby girl will be turning one. She will be making the leap from infant to toddler. She is walking now, sort of. A good few steps then plops on her tush. Lilian now has 9 teeth. She's so long now too. She still rides around in her infant car seat (mostly for lack of money of buying a new, convertible/forward facing one...but hey, they can hold babies up to 30lbs and Lili's only 20something) and her feet hang over the edge. But it's safer for her to be rear-faced for a bit longer. So the next step is to get a convertible seat (so she can still be rear-facing until I feel comfortable to turn her around), preferably one of each car, but again, money's tight and they are a bit spendy. Maybe I can find cute ones on craigslist or something. Anyway, Halloween is right around the corner, and she will be TinkerBell. :) Then just 5 days after that she turns 1!! Her party will be the day after on Friday. She's already opened two presents from a friend since he can't really come to the party. Lili had never opened any presents before so she didn't really know what to do, but she loves tearing paper so once we start opening presents at her party I'm sure she'll be a pro. :) Well that's it for now, I will probably come back on Halloween and put a few pics up here. If I forget, check my myspace. :)

Well teething just blows.

4 teeth, MAYBE a 5th one....all at once. Not just poor baby, but poor Mommy and Daddy. I discovered this morning Lilian has cut 2 teeth on top and 2 on bottom and I THINK maybe another one on the bottom is trying to come through. She doesn't like my fingers in her mouth so I only get keep feels. Let me tell you, normally the infant Tylenol helps, but not today. No matter what I did, she wasn't happy. I got some peace when Adam and Kelly took her out with them, but she wasn't good for them either. Then they came home and Adam ran out real quick and she wasn't happy still. I think about 90% of the day she was screaming and crying for one reason or another.

I think another part of her grumpiness comes from the weaning. She hasn't had any bottles for like 3 days. I feel bad. It feels kind of like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...then one with Johnny Depp, where Willy's dad never lets him have candy even though he wants it so bad. It's not like she can ask me for it, but I just know that if I were to give her a bottle of something, she would go into a frenzy just reaching for it. Oh parenting, it's such a bitter sweet thing.

So it snowed today too. Not too much. Didn't stick to the ground, but it did to roof tops and cars. We took Lili and Apollo out in it. :)


Then we went inside and had some hot chocolate. Well Lili's was just luke warm of course. :)

Weaning.

So Adam and I have decided to start weaning Lilian off her bottles. We decided this last night, mostly because she's out of formula and we don't have any money to get any right now. :( BUT she's supposed to be off the bottle at 12 months anyway, and just turned 11 months yesterday. So today is day one of no bottles. She's been using sippy cups since about 6 months for juice and what not so she knows she can drink out of those. I guess really the only downfall on this part is for Adam and me. She likes to wake up in the mornings between 6 and 8. We are not morning people so normally I would get up, make her a bottle and give it to her and leave her in her crib...she would drink and play for a bit and then fall back asleep til about 10 or so. Now I get to get up whenever she gets me up. This morning it was at....oh man I don't even remember now...0730 or 0800 (sorry for the military time, but not only do I hear it from Adam, but that's how we record time in charts for patients so I'm practicing).

So that's that. She's almost walking now too. She can make the small gaps between furniture that she can't just reach for then guide herself, so very soon will she be running all over the place.

The update.

So as promised, here is the update. I'm super tired so there wont be any pictures, my myspace has all the recent ones anyway so go look there. :)

So Adam got home, homecoming was emotional of course, but the best thing ever. It's taking Lili a while to get used to Adam, but she's finally starting to warm up to him more. It's mostly when I leave her alone with him now, but I keep telling him that's the only way for her to learn.

Lili is getting soooooooooooooooo big, it's insane. She'll be 11 months in 3 days. ALREADY! Where has the time gone?? I've already set her birthday party date for the day after her birthday. Since her birthday is on a Thursday. Sadly, she doesn't have any kiddo friends to come play with her. I really hate that. I want her to experience other babies and kids, but without her being in daycare right now, it's almost impossible since we are the only ones out of our friends while a child. We found out daycare on post is much cheaper than we thought so once I get a job, we might put her there if we can afford it.

I started my CNA classes. It's so different but yet almost the exact same as my MA classes I took before. The MA stuff is more hands on, which is what I like, but I'm taking phlebotomy next term so I'll be good to go then. I go to clinicals sometime this month and should be ready to go to boards in November/December to be certified and ready to work. I had to get a few shots today for that. Since I don't have my shot record and I highly doubt my parents know where it is between all the different physicians and moving throughout my childhood. So I just said, titer what I should be vaccinated against (titers are blood tests to see if you are immune to something...I got titered for Verecella[chickenpox] and MMR[measles, mumps and rubella]) yesterday. Then because the STUPID army hospital immunization clinic don't give out shots on Thursdays, I had to go back today. I got my TB test in my left forearm, my Flu and Hep B shot in my left shoulder and then my Tetnus in my right shoulder. Yea it's not fun. Especially that Tetnus, I wasn't feeling it earlier, but let me tell you, I feel it now.

Adam is still on his 30 days of leave. We went to VA for a week to see his family. Not so much fun. Especially driving to Currie, NC to see his grandpa. Currie is one of those hillbilly towns where your entire street is made up of your family and you marry your cousin. Thank God it was only for a night. Lilian did very well on the planes. She was up the whole time on the way there and just sort of played in our seats. Then I decided that I was going to keep her awake all day when we left so she'd sleep on the flights. Yea, didn't work out as well as planned. She was so tired by that time she was too fussy to sleep. It took us a while, and many trips walking up and down the aisles to get her to sleep but we did it. She woke up on our layover and then crashed as soon as we sat in our next seat. The flights were miserable as it was. We flew home during that BIG storm over Texas. And where was our layover?? Houston. First our plane was late leaving Houston because of it....and then the crew thought that it had been struck by lightning so we couldn't get on when it got there, we had to wait for maintenance (which is based in Richmond, two hours away from Norfolk where we were) to get there. They had called them during the flight so we didn't need to wait two hours after it landed but it still took them a while to get there. Then they had to check it out. It would have been so much easier and reassuring to us passengers to get a new plane. But whatever. It was good to go and we started boarding 1 1/2 h ours AFTER we were supposed to take off. We got to Houston with 10 minutes to get to our next gate. Thankfully, they called the gate and told them to wait. But I was so worried that our luggage wasn't going to make it on that plane. I had a 10 minute layover once before and my luggage didn't make it with me to my destination, but like 6 hours later. And we had checked Lili's carseat with our suitcases so I was on the verge of a freak out because we had no way to get her home without it. But, the night ended well with our luggage being there when we landed. :)

So yea, I think that's pretty much it in a nutshell. Oh yea, we got a new puppy. He's a Shiba Inu born on July 25th (way too tired to do the math lol). His name is Apollo. He's freaking adorable. :D

I told you I'm bad at updating these things.

Sorry I've been slacking. It's been busy and my computer was broken for like 2 weeks. Anyway, I will have a long update later. When I have time to sit down and write one. And add a few pics. :) But for now, I get to go get some vaccines and find the place to go pee in a cup for my CNA clinical classes. :)

Tomorrow is the day!! :D

Tomorrow morning, bright and early. Ceremony starts at 9:35, which means I need to leave the apartment by like 6 so we can get a front row bleacher. Agh, I'm so freakin excited! Probably not going to sleep tonight either. Maybe I'll take another Ambien (and lay in bed and wait for it to kick in lol).

Tomorrow should be the day! :)

So yesterday morning, I got up and checked the FRG website. There was a flight coming in yesterday that SHOULD have been Adam's. But this is the military and they can never do anything right. So of course it wasn't. It was Main Body 3C's flight (which was posted while we were at the homecoming for Main Body 3A...Adam is on MB 3B...If find it sad that the people who run the system that is supposed to protect our country is so disorganized!) Anyway, so I was angry when I saw that and got up first thing yesterday morning to check because Adam's definitely would have to be the next flight in. And to add to my anger this is what I see:

There are no flights scheduled to arrive on Sunday, August 23. The manifest for FLT 603 will be posted after it takes off from Kuwait. Please check back Sunday afternoon.

So this is what my day will consist of today:

Washing our bed comforter
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Wash the rest of our bedding
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Crack down on doing Adam's laundry
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Try to find a place for Adam's laundry since I wont have enough hangers or drawers
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Scrub down my bathroom
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Scrub down the other bathroom
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Pick up the mess Lili has made the last couple of days
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Vacuum
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Dishes
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site
Anything else I find I need to get done before tomorrow
Run to the computer and hit Refresh on the FRG site

I think I've hit refresh on the FRG site 4 times in the last hour I've been out of bed and they say check back in the afternoon. BUT within the last 2 times or so, they've taken down the manifest that arrived yesterday so I'm hoping that means they are working on the new one?? We shall see. But even when it is posted, I still have to keep checking it to make sure times don't change. Ugh I just can't wait. Today is going to be a long day!

Getting Close!

2-3 days!!! Ugh I'm so freakin excited! Signs are made, the apartment is decent (I'm storing a few boxes for our buddy, one of which is a 58" TV -.- He doesn't get back til after Adam does though so we'll just have to deal with it.), now I just need to work on his laundry and do the scrub down of bathrooms and what not the day of/night before he gets home. I've been having crazy insomnia though. For about the past 2 weeks. My classes have started, so the night before my one on-campus class I took a leftover Ambien from when I was prego with Lilian so I wouldn't be a zombie for my first class. Let me tell you, that stuff is a trip if you don't go to sleep right away. I was waiting for the same feeling you get from Nyquil (if you're like me and it knocks you on your ass anyway haha). The one where all of a sudden you can barely keep your eyes open. Apparently Ambien doesn't do that haha. It slowly makes you crash and then if you don't sleep right away, you get hit with weird hallucinations all at once. It was funny, but don't worry, I'm not turning into a pill popper.

So my classes, I have medical terminology that I take online and then some class about customer service in health care...but apparently it wont be so much about customer service skills as it is about finding your personality and trying to understand others'....Anywho, my books, $105. For 2 classes. And they expect students to survive?? They are crazy. Some of mine were even used! Agh. Still no luck on the job thing either and it's starting to get EXTREMELY stressful. We are going to have to start cutting out some expenses that I think we need if I don't find a job soon. December can't come soon enough (that's when I finish up with my CNA!!).

Anyway, back to homecomings. We had our friend Johnnie's yesterday. 300+ guys came home. Courtney and I cried, and neither one of our S/O's were the ones coming home. I can't imagine when they do...I told her we are going to have to skip those travel sized Kleenex packages and go for a whole role of toilet paper. And I buy those HUGE Charmin rolls....lol.

Lili's check up and a hilarious video!

So Lili had her 9 month well baby check up today. Everything is great, they did a hemoglobin test that came back good. No anemia for her. :) Her doctor discovered that not only did just one top tooth come in recently, but so did the one next to it (her top two . ones) AND that 2 more are coming in up there too. But no more for the bottom yet. I just hope this teething thing goes quick!

I have a blog on my myspace dedicated to her check ups, but I'll update on here too for those of you who don't read/use myspace.

Weight: 18lbs 10oz (in the 50th percentile)
Length: 28 3/4 inches (80th percentile...she's got Adam's tall genes, YAY!)
Head: She gave it to me in centimeters (46) which converts to a tad over 18 inches. (95th percentile...my little bobble head!)

Anywho, nothing new yet. Got Lili's shirt made for Adam's homecoming, but I need to tough it up after I wash it. Still need to make the signs and clean but other than that, I think we are good to go. :) I just wish these days would stop dragging on!

Still job hunting. Not going so well. It's really discouraging when you normally don't have ANY trouble finding a job and now it's damn near impossible. Thank you Bush...asshole.

Anyway, so for those of you who haven't seen it, you must watch. This video is freakin hilarious! And if you don't think it is, well you have issues. Roxanne, I suggest emptying your baby-squished bladder first, before you pee yourself. :) Of course, if you haven't seen it yet. :)

Watch video HERE.

Lili and 2 weeks-ish.

2-2.5 weeks left. That's it. Then Adam will be home. And I have a ton of stuff I need to do. Like wash ALL his clothes (civilians AND ACU's he didn't take with him). I have a lot of cleaning to do too. I'm really bad with my mail, I leave it lying EVERYwhere. So needless to say, the place is cluttered. I really wanted to paint in here before he came home, but that didn't and wont happen. I was going paint one wall in every room, then I decided just the bathrooms and now, for the time being, its none. I'm just going to dig out pictures and hang them now, I was waiting til the painting was done. I've also decided to just make a shirt Lilian will wear for him. I really wanted to buy her a super cute, really poofy dress, but the really cute ones were spendy. So when I was at Michael's buying supplies to make welcome home posters, I ended up down the aisle with fabric paints and decorations and I just bought some of that stuff. I'll probably work on it tonight if I get my cleaning done. When it's finished I'll post a picture. I, on the other hand, have NO idea what I'm going to wear. Part of me wants to wear a cute dress and be really sexy for him. BUT my plan is to run and jump and I can't exactly do that in a dress or skirt without risking a flash to the rest of the people, not that many would be paying attention to me. So then its down to either shorts if it's during the day or pants if it's during the night...but what shirt?? I have one that says "I Love My Soldier" with his name on it...but I want something cuter. We'll see I suppose.

So today, Lilian is 9 months old. Time sure has flown, while most complain about that, I'm very thankful. The deployment came and went because of it. Lilian's next check up is on the 10th. We went to a WIC appointment a few weeks ago and they said she was just about 30 inches long already! What's sad is that's seriously half of my height. I'm 60-61 inches, depending how much I stretch and who's measuring me. ;) She's gonna be a tall one.

So I'm a little tore up about my cats. They are DESTROYING my carpet by clawing the shit out of it. I have this spray stuff that's supposed to keep them from scratching but it only works for about a day, and I never actually catch them doing it. I'm already going to have to replace my bedroom window blinds because of them, but I really don't want/can't afford to replace my carpet. So my options are to get rid of them (which really isn't an option) or declaw them (which I've always found cruel and should never be done). Anyone have any suggestions on how to get them to quit?

Hmm?

So I just had an idea as far as wedding dates go. My cousin has been planning her wedding for a while now and I remember her mentioning something about weekday weddings being cheaper. So here is what I was thinking, since we are already married it doesn't really need to be a wam bam celebration where everything happens in one night. We can do the ceremony on our anniversary--although I'd still have to wait 2 years because next August is when Adam is supposed to be getting out of the military so he'll be busy with that--and then have the reception the weekend after. I'll have to talk to Adam about it but I don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe do a dinner after the ceremony so that night isn't so short? Hm, I guess we'll see. I'll just start buying bridal magazines again and leave them all over the apartment and make Adam help me. :D I know one thing, I want to pretend we aren't already married and still have bachelor and bachelorette parties. ;)

Anywho, Courtney and I are back in Utah until tomorrow. She had her surgery yesterday, it went alright. They had to bring in another surgeoun because her appendix was still inflamed and what not (she had an appendectomy). But she was discharged last night after they finally listened to her and gave her percocet for her pain meds. I'm not looking forward to driving all the way back to CO. I hate driving.

But in 2-3 weeks, Adam will be home! FINALLY!!!

Wedding Bells?

So Adam and I never had a "real" wedding. The day we got married we literally rolled out of bed, put some jeans and a t-shirt on and went to the courthouse alone. We were so tired and sleepy (this was the day after he graduated basic/AIT and we didn't get home til 4 a.m. and by the time we got to sleep we maybe had 3 hours of sleep on top of jet lag from flying from Kentucky to Oregon) I don't even remember what vows they used. Which sort of depresses me. And if I can't remember, I know he can't. So anyway, we've always said we'll do the quickie so we can afford to be together and then do a real wedding like, the next summer. Well 2 years later and we still haven't even started planning. We keep saying "we need to start planning". He says it too. Actually he says it more often than I do lol. But anyway, I'm finally going to start. But the question is where do I begin? I already know I want it in the summer, and our wedding anniversary now is August 3rd. But we are going to want to party and the next time August 3rd falls on a weekend is 2012, on a Friday. 3 years from now. Which that's good, gives us time to save and plan, but its so far away! I really don't want to wait that long. So here's my dilemma, I think once we figure this out everything will be easier: Do I wait and have it on our anniversary? Or do we just pick a date and not wait? And then where? Unfortunately, Adam doesn't have a ton of family and friends to invite like I do, so it'd make more sense to have it in Washington...and there are a few places that would be pretty enough. I just don't really want it in Washington. Here is what I want:

Big wedding at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Waikiki Beach in Honolulu, HI. I want to mix party with elegant and intimate. I want an amazing photographer who's pictures will look like they belong in an art museum and a great DJ who can play music that will get everyone on the dance floor. Then I want a honeymoon at a Sandals resort. A room with one of those private pools and it's all-inclusive.

Buuuut, my dream and my budget don't go hand in hand. The Royal Hawaiian is expensive and not everyone will be able to fly to Hawaii. Although just to get married in Hawaii, I'd be ok with a small wedding. The amazing photographer will cost me all my limbs. I have friends who are great photographers, but I want them to have fun, relax and let loose. Not worry about getting tons of pictures for me. The DJ would be the only easy deal out of it. Then the honeymoon, what I want is $6000+ easily.

I need to win the lottery.

Getting excited!

So Adam and I have been having an issue lately, nothing I want to talk about, really it's just stupid on both our parts. I did something I shouldn't have done, but in my eyes it wasn't a big deal. Apparently to him it was and blah blah blah. Anyway needless to say at this point in time, he's ripped up his re-enlistment papers and said F-it. As much as it would be better for us financially for him to stay in, another deployment would just be too rough. We'd pull through, but this one was pretty smooth sailing and next time around, it wont be. Anyway, with that said, FRG has started posting the flight manifests as they get them set up. Adam's flight isn't on there yet, but I *think* I see a few friends on there (they are posting them with the first 3 letters of the last name and the last 4 digits of their socials...so without knowing our friend's socials, I don't know for sure...) but nonetheless I'm freakin stoked and will be checking the FRG website religiously until he comes home (of course it can change and due to OPSEC I probably can't post dates on here for you all to share my excitement...).

So with the guys' homecoming, comes a military ball. We went to one last summer before deployment and it blew. The food was ok, it was those pretty plates that cost a fortune and you get hardly anything...and I was pregnant. Then the music started and the first song was the Electrice Slide, which no one was electric sliding, but LINE DANCING?!!? Then the next two songs were a slow dance and old people songs...basically stuff you can't dance too. By that time we were fed up and left. That was hosted by his old unit, so I'm giving his new unit a try and ho9pefully they'll do good. I found my dress today though, on clearance at David's Bridal for $80! Woo!! I almost feel its too formal, but I think that's because last year's dress was just a cocktail dress that cost my broke-ass like $30. So here's some pics of it. They were taken for Courtney's cell, while she was holding Lili, who was bouncing around, so they are a tad blurry, but you get the idea :)

I'll upload better pictures when I actually get it, it's on lay away since I'm saving money for....

HANSON IS COMING TO DENVER!!!!!! Agh I'm so freakin excited. Fanclub members' presale starts tomorrow so I'm hoping I have enough money for them! Courtney is going with me, the concer is November 3rd and I can't freakin wait! Gosh I seem more excited about Hanson than Adam, but that's because I have a date for Hanson. As soon as I have a date and can share it with you, you'll probably hear my screams of excitement through my typing! :) So yea, lots to look forward to!!! Plus the concert is 2 days before Lili's first birthday! November is gong to be a great month!

More stolen stuff and Harry Potter.

Ok so not only did my iPod get stolen, so did Lili's diaper bag. Seriously who the hell steals someone's diaper bag. Yes a lot of women put their wallets in there for less to carry around, but I'm not dumb enough to do that and one quick glance in there would have told you that. Once I discovered that, it wasn't about the iPod, but the fact that someone stole my daughter's belongings. We were just so dumbfounded at who would stoop that low. This was yesterday, and then last night a friend's car doors were opened...he didn't lock the door and when he went outside to go home, the door was open. From what he could see, nothing had been taken/messed with so that's good but still. This is messed up. I went and told the front office today and they are going to have the security people keep a better look on my area of the complex.

So to make my day a litte better, I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last night. I always get so frustrated with the HP movies. I've read the books sooo many times I can rip the movies apart, but this one was the worst when it came to accuracey. It's still a good movie, hilarious compared to the rest, but they left a LOT of important events out that I feel are important to the last book. Those of you who read the books will probably agree. Either way, I want to go see it again. I love Harry Potter, I'm going to be so bummed when Part 2 of the last movie ends. Then it really will all be over. :( Ohh but the Harry Potter theme park opens next year (or at least its supposed to). I can't wait for that!!!

Yay school! Boo theives!

So I'm very angry. Some jackass stole my iPod out of my car. Yes, I was stupid enough to leave it somewhere visible but still. My car wasn't broken into and the only time I leave it unlocked is when I have my hands full and I go to my door, unload my hands and lock it from there (it does the beep so I know it locks). So someone saw me leave my car unlocked for a second and got in there and got my iPod and left. They didn't go through my car, otherwise they would have found my GPS and taken that too, but I still have that. There is a slight possibility its still in there, but I left it next to my shifter (which is in the middle in between the seats) and it was still plugged into the lighter outlet. I did a quick search when I got out at the workforce center today, but it wasn't there. :( We are going to clean out the car and double check when it stops raining. But I think its gone and I can't believe someone would do that. My complex is supposed to be safe, its gated at night and there is some sort of security, though I don't think its on sight security because I've never seen them. I just have a number to call them. There is also a lot of military who live here, not that that really means anything since there are a ton of "shitbags" in the military.

Anyway so I'm done with my rant...for now.

I enrolled in school today. So that's good. I'm kind of looking forward to it now. Although what I'm going for isn't exactly what I wanted. I wanted to continue my medical assisting. Buuut with the program I am in for military spouses (they pay like $3000 worth of my tuition) I have to be done by June 2010. The MA program would go way past that, so I picked the aspect of MA that I loved, Phlebotomy. But when I got to the workforce center today she told me that CNA would get me done by June and it would make me marketable. So I'm doing CNA and Phlebotomy. I'm not really looking forward to the CNA clinicals. They go to like, retirement/nursing homes and take care of old people. Which is fine, but I don't know how I can handle bathing them and changing old people's diapers. I give props to those who do it and enjoy that, but for me that would be awkward, and I change enough diapers at home. But I will do it, not complain, and just try to get a job in Phlebotomy when I'm done. So this time next year, I should be done with school and have a job much better than retail!!

Speaking of retail jobs, I have a job interview at The Buckle on Wednesday. I hope I get it. I put my availabilty as 9-5:30 Monday-Friday. I don't really have daycare/a sitter for weekends, but come clinical time for the CNA classes, I will be doing those on the weekends anyway. Those start in September after Adam gets home, so he can watch Lilian. They seem to be ok with that since they called me back within 2 hours of me submitting my application online. Wish me luck!! :)

Die TriCare DIE!!

Idiots. That's who work there. Not to mention the whole system is just dumb. They have different regions. When moving to VA I had to change regions. Moving back to CO I had to change back to the first region...do they not realize how much of a pain in the ass that is, being military, who move a lot? Because then you have to WAIT for it to go through. And then you have to have a referral to go see a specialist....which is like every other insurance, BUT when I had been going to an OB/GYN for the past 7 months because I was pregnant, why on earth would I need to get checked out by my primary again?? That was beyond dumb. Anyway, my new complaint about them:

I went in to TriCare the first week I was back in CO to switch things back over so I could set up Lilian's 9 month check up. I sat down with a lady, we went over everything and got it all filled out. Well I get a packet in the mail. In it is another packet, the same one I filled out with the lady in the office. With the packet is a letter stating I need to refill it out and sent it back in with a list of possible reasons why I need to do this. Two of them are checked, one is saying it wasn't signed the first time, the second was saying something wrong with the fax transmission and they didn't get all the papers. Ok that part isn't necessarily someone's mistake, fax machines act up all the time. But I've come to the conclusion that I did sign the papers, but the pages that have the signatures were the ones that didn't make it. So instead of giving me a call and telling me this, they take the snail way, so its taking me longer to get Lilian's approval. So this morning I decided to call the TriCare office on post to see if they could just re-fax it (I had already talked to a TriCare agent who deals with the paperwork and she said I could do that). Well apparently, the one on post (which is located in the base hospital) is walk-in only....with no phone numbers for me to call (I talked to the hospital phone operator). So I get to drive all the way there just to tell them to re-fax my applications....

I HATE YOU TRICARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I have to say is I better not have to wait forever. I will raise hell. All they need to do is pull my apps and re-fax them. I will raise hell if they try to make me wait.

4th of July, MJ, Big Girl and School.

So I'm already slacking on this thing. I guess I just don't feel like my rambles are worth posting half the time. But oh well. So Friday, July 3rd, Lili and I drove to Salt Lake City to kidnap Courtney. I ended up picking her up in Green River (she was camping with her Dad who lives in Vegas) and we drove to SLC to get her things. We stayed for the 4th (since last year I spent my 4th driving from Washington back to Colorado so I wanted to find some firework shows...btw boo on Fort Vancouver cancelling this year's show!!). Anyway, my friend Angie's little sister is pregnant with a girl so I had gone through Lilian's things and passed on what she doesn't wear (that wasn't too cute to part with or sentimental) and things she just doesn't use anymore (her bottle warmer, tub, bouncy chair). We dropped that off for her and went to the mall downtown. Being broke we just got a Starbucks, window shopped then decided to walk the like, 10 blocks or so to the Mormon Temple. We got there and saw they had tours. I am not Mormon. Courtney was raised, but never baptised, Mormon. So she new enough to not let them pester us too much (I never admitted to them that I wasn't Mormon, I just kept saying "I'll read Courtney's Book for Mormon..."). But it was beautiful. I put pics on my myspace (www.myspace.com/heavenseyes). So after that, it was time to find a show. We ended up going to one in Park City, where we picked up Courtney's Friend Mikela (she was visiting family there, she's from Colorado Springs too) and we found the park where they had a show. It was sort of like going to Fort Vancouver, minus the vendors, the ridiculous crowd and the actual show wasn't nearly as long or as extravagant as the Fort's. But it was nice. Lili loved the fireworks, didn't scare her one bit! So the next morning we packed up my Jeep and Courtney drove all the way back to Colorado. We've been lazy the past few days, haven't unpacked or anything, so my apartment is still trashed, but whatever. We'll clean it eventually. :)

So Lilian is now 8 months old (as of the 5th). Its amazing how time flies now. I don't want my baby girl to grow up so fast, but at the same time, its helped this deployment go so much quicker for me. It feels like its only been a week at the most since Adam left. I can't believe he'll be home next month! I am so excited, and seeing all the soldiers in their ACU's (their uniforms for you civilians :D) just gets me more anxious! I'm hoping this payday I'll be able to afford paint to paint in the apartment so I can hang pictures and get the rest of these boxes unpacked. I feel so lazy having this messy place and boxes every where still, but Monday we wanted to relax, Tuesday was Michael Jackson's memorial, which I watched, and bawled. I think the two times I cried the most was when Usher was touching the casket and singing TO MJ instead of the audience and when he broke down at the end and could barely finish. Then Michael's daughter did an impromtu speech where I just lost it. Courtney wasn't home to watch it live and so we watched it again later in the evening and I cried some more...I think I have some of that emotional rollercoaster side effect of pregnancy left...and pregnancy brain. Seriously, I think some of that stuff is permenant. So anyway, all my crying yesterday morning gave me a headache so I just didn't feel up to it. And today I had to run to the WIC office (btw they measured Lilian, she's just about 30 inches long now and 17 lbs 13ozs...she's got tall genes!!!) and then the education office on post. Going back to school next month (if I'm approved of course)!!!

Tonight I actually put Lilian to bed without her bottle! Normally I make her a bottle and give it to her in her crib so she'll fall asleep. But the lady at my WIC appt said that's bad for her teeth, so I gave her a bottle about 30 min before her bed time to work on and at bed time I put her in the crib. She only cried for maybe 15 min before crashing! She did so good!! Such a big girl now!! :)

So anyway, I think that's it for now...I'll try to get on track to update more frequently so I'm writing novels anymore!

Boo.

So no new car. Adam decided not to wait to look into it and spent his time and minutes calling a Jeep dealership here in Colorado. -.- Anyway, he told the guy I'd be calling him, so I did and told him what we wanted. Well he called back later and said our monthly payments would be around $520. Can't afford that right now. Maybe I'll get a miracle job and then we can. Oh but wait, I read on the local news website that the average monthly daycare rate for infants in the state of Colorado is $905. So we are trying to figure out what to do now. All my work experience for the most part is retail. I wouldn't make enough working retail to pay for daycare, let alone anything else we'd need to pay for. I suggested I do my own daycare deal. Watch one or two more kids and charge like $600-$700 a month. That way not only am I making money and not having to pay for daycare, I get to stay home with Lilian. Adam wasn't too fond of that idea though. He's afraid that if something happens to another person's child on my watch, I'll get sued. Which he has a point, but its not like I let kids run around like cave children. I can barely go to the bathroom without taking Lilian with me just so I can keep my eye on her. But we'll see. I really want to stay home and babysit. Or maybe I'll just get super lucky and find a good job. I still have to look into the on-post daycare. Adam keeps hearing its free, I heard it isn't. Hopefully FRG will email me back with a phone number and maybe some answers soon. That'd be nice.

Anyway, I leave Friday the 3rd to drive to Salt Lake City to kindap my friend Courtney. She's coming back here and staying with us until Adam and her bf get home. So that'll be good. And a ton of fun. :D But its an 8-9 hour drive, so probably closer to 10 since I have to stop with Lilian every so often. Then I have to drive her back at the end of July for surgery then we come back here. I'll be done with driving for a while after that lol. Oh I can't wait, seriously, we are like long lost twins born 2 years apart.

New Car? Maybe?

So the hubbers, being a total guy, is constantly looking at new cars. He loves off-roading and wants a Jeep Wrangler to use for play. We can afford one right now. His parents just gave us their Ford Expedition for him to use since we need 2 cars now. But eventually, I keep promising, we'll get him his Wrangler. So since that's his dream car, he's constantly looking at Jeep.com. He calls me today and suggests trading in our Liberty for a new Compass. I was like ehhhh, we'll see. But he told me to look at it (the last one he showed me I hated so I said no. lol). And I want it. Mostly because of the color, but it isn't too different from the Liberty, looks wise. So I said if we can finance it to where the monthly payment is the same as our current payment, or as long as it doesn't skyrocket. So here it is, we'll go test drive one when he gets home. But I refuse any other color lol.

What do you think?

Rambling. Just Rambling.

So I went found some pictures of Farrah Fawcett and I was going to start hunting down some of David Carradine and Billy Mays to make a blend of them like I did for MJ. Buuuut low and behold, when I open my Photoshop, it doesn't work anymore. Boo. I just need to go out and buy it. But, for those of you who don't know, Photoshop is like $200+. I could buy Corel's Paint Shop Pro for $60 when I have the money, that's what I used to use, but I've finally got used to Photoshop and there are a few edits that Photoshop is better for than Pain Shop. Ugh. Oh well.

So today, I went to JC Penneys (again, for those of you who don't know, that's where I worked before Adam deployed) for the 4th time since I've gotten back to Colorado. I don't know what's more sad, the fact that its my 4th time and I still spent at least an hour in there talking to old co-workers or that I made one of the girls call LP because I spotted suspicious people...and then when Donnie (the head LP guy) said he was already watching them and hung up, he called back, asked if I was the one who told them to call and told her to tell me good job. Lmao. (Little background on LP and me: I love getting people busted. And the juniors department where I worked was a hot spot because of the location of the fitting room. So I was constantly calling LP to make sure they were watching when I saw suspicious people. I once called when they weren't in office about these girls and I got Donnie on the walkie talkie and told him to go to the office and watch, turns out these girls would have gotten away with about $425 worth of stuff. So anyway, LP loves me and would love it if I returned because apparently since I left, they get maybe 2 calls a month if they are lucky. But these people were messing with the ink tags on some of the clothes and all together just looked and acted suspicious). But what's truly sad is the fact that the girl I told to call LP had never called them before, and she had just started when I left, about 10 1/2 months ago....

So anyway, I got Lilian a new floaty toy for the pool today. She loves the pool. And I need a coffee table or something because Lili has knocked my sweet tea over on the floor for the second time today....

First Blog!

So I've been wanting to make a blogspot for a while, but I'm really bad at updating them. Usually I make blogs when I'm pissed off because sometimes writing about it is a good escape for me. I want to keep one updated often for friends and family that we don't live near us. So I will do my best to update on Lilian and (for now) Adam's homecoming. But I'm not making any promises that it will be regular, I'm just promising to try.

Anyway, a week from today my baby girl will be 8 months old...already! Time is flying, which sucks because before we know it, she'll be in school, dating, getting married, having her own babies, then they'll have their own babies. Agh. But its also good, because its making this deployment fly by. Adam *should* be home in August. But they keep changing their minds and of course OPSEC doesn't allow exact dates. I love OPSEC just for the fact that it keeps our men safe, but damnit, I want an exact date!!!!!! We still aren't sure whats going to happen when Adam gets back. His contract is up in August 2010. He was going to try for warrant officer school, but during his physical today, they told him one of his eyes is 20/60 (and of course, in the Army you have to be perfect to get any good opportunity) and that even laser eye surgery wouldn't correct it enough. So for now, we are just saying "wait and see what the economy is like in a year from now." If its still pretty bad, he'll stay in. But if Obama can do some good damage control by then, he'll be getting out (YAY!).

So, thats about it for my first blog. I would just like to say that I'm thankful I'm not famous this week. FOUR celebrities have passed in the last five days. Ed McMahon (RIP June 23rd), Farrah Fawcet and Michael Jackson (both RIP June 25th) and Billy Mays--the Oxiclean guy who likes to yell at us (RIP June 28th). We can make it a bad month by mentioning David Carradine (RIP June 4th).

Here are a few things that I have made for Michael. Maybe later today I will make some for the other celebs mentioned. (You can click on them to make them larger.)

I know MJ has two other siblings, but I couldn't find pictures of them together, which makes me sad because I think this one turned out better than the other one, but it just doesn't feel complete without them. Oh well.

Off to the pool when Lilian wakes up from her nap.